Something money cant buy

Long back, one day dad asked me to help him arranging his files and stuffs. He was cleaning his cabinet. When you dig into old piled up stuffs, sometimes you do find interesting things. Whenever I open my Grandmother’s glass door cabinet, I find something or other very interesting. Dad’s childhood photo, my old school badge, few sea shells we gathered long back in Puri. These things always take me back to that age. But in my dad’s files, I didn’t expect any such interesting things, so the job was pretty boring for me. Suddenly I found a diary. I have never seen my dad writing anything in diary, so I was very happy finding the diary. I took out a pen to write my name on the first page to establish my ownership before my sister even come to know about it. The moment I opened the diary, I found a dirty black colored stuff inside it wrapped with some small piece of very old news paper.
- “Eeik!!!! What’s that dad? It must be some kinda insect, died in the fold of the diary”. I threw the diary on the ground. Some part of the dirty stuff came out of the diary and scattered on the floor.
Dad smiled and took the diary in his hand, carefully kept the shabby thing back into the diary pages; I don’t know what it was but certainly not a fossil of any insect. It was something my dad wants to cherish. I started feeling bad for throwing the diary without knowing what it was. But that didn’t last long smelling a story. I could see the expression on my dad’s face. Certainly he was recollecting something very old, something very special happened in his life. I kept my mouth shut expecting dad to start again.
“You know dear, this apparently dirty stuff means a lot to me”. I dragged my chair near to him.
He continued, I started my career in Block Development Office back in 70s. I was different at that time, a lot more enthusiasm was in me, lot more self believes. I don’t know how the spark faded out from me in these many years. May be in times it happens like this. At that time, every day I wanted to something different but never got a chance to be different than others. One day I noticed a new guy as the sweeper of our mess. Asking others what I came to know is the young guy who used to work here before is ill, so became irregular. That’s why they appointed someone new. I didn’t enquire more on the guy who was ill. Few days after that, I met the guy on the road. I asked him what happened. In reply what he said just stunned me. He was suffering from critical heart disease. I asked him to consult a good doctor and assured him to help if he comes to Kolkata. But he said, he can’t afford the treatment cost. He was the only earning member of the family and that job also he lost because of health condition.
I came back to mess but his words kept me bugging. Once I feel to extend some financial help, but on that time I just started earning, so I couldn’t even have afforded more. I didn’t sleep the entire night. Next day morning I took the writing pad out. I drafted two letters, one to the Prime Minister and another to the Governor of the state. I read in the news paper that both on state and central govt level they have some funding to help poor people. Though I didn’t know how to get that fund, I just gave a shot on that. My expectations were not much from the so called govt processes, but to my surprise I got a reply for both my letters from PM office and Governor Office. In next few days, two inspections took place with the help of local police station regarding the financial condition of that guy. In a month time he got a good treatment in Vellore under Dr. Sunil Sen. He got two cheques, one from central govt of Rs 10,000 and another for Rs 5,000 from state government. Those amounts were not small in those days. Finally in a month time, that guy came back from Vellore. I can’t tell you how great it felt to me seeing him completely cured. And the guy couldn’t say much to thank me, but I read it on his tears. Two months after this I got a job in banking field, so had to leave the place. My farewell was done; all the gifts were packed well in the suitcase. I said good bye to all my friends and neighbors and waiting for the bullock cart to the station. I heard a knock on the door. I turned back and saw the guy, standing just outside of my room. I called him in. we talked for a while and then took out a small thing packed in a piece of news paper from his pocket. He gave that to me and said, “I opened a Pan stall last month. I can’t afford much to give you a good bye gift, so I prepared this special Pan for you. Please have it. I know it’s nothing with compare to the help I got from you. Not only you saved me, you saved my family also. I pray to god everyday to send more people like you”. He was in tears. I took it from him and before I react he ran out of the room. I was running out of time so didn’t get a chance to tell him that he has given me probably the best gift in my entire life. He wanted me to have it, but I thought of keeping this for the last day of my life. It’s not a shabby thing dear, it’s the most precious gift I ever got.
Dad completed his story and took a piece of cloth to clean the diary. I saw a rare drop of tears in my dad’s eyes. At that age, I couldn’t connect myself much to the tears, it was all happy ending, then why tears. But today in a much paced life, I seek that few drops of tears of Happiness.

Can you hear the roar?

The entire county is roaring. Half of the population is shouting for Anna. Rest of the half who doesn’t agree with Anna, are busy grunting against Indian Cricket team. Anna with his team is grumbling against the corruption and the government. Government is cursing Anna & his followers. The intellectual people are debating on news channels. The news channels are shouting to prove themselves best in the business. And when it comes to me, I am just struggling to find the right direction.
With this back drop a few scenes are being staged everyday around me.
Scene 1: Got a forwarded email from someone saying about a rally to support Anna. I decided to join. After the office I came back home and changed to comfortable attire before going to rickshaw stand. The rickshaw drivers were on top of their voice debating. They were debating in support of Anna Hazare. Everyone was in favor of Anna, but still they were aggressively putting their point. To whom? I don’t know.
“JM Road?” I asked. One guy said, “Sit, but 20 Rs extra, its heavy traffic there”. I looked at his face; he was the one who was shouting most against the corruption and dishonesty just a minute back.
I smiled, “you are charging me unethically and claim that you are a supporter of Anna Hazare?”
He said, “This is not corruption. Its just a matter of 20 Rs. See the leaders who are into scam of crores of it. And anyway this is my Dhanda time, cant compromise with it.
I compromised, as I always do.
Scene 2: I am in the rally, its hell lot of people around and good thing is they are not under any political banner. Later I read in the news paper, it was around 25 thousands of people in the rally. I saw an old man, not shouting at all, just calmly walking in the rally. I liked it. He is truly supporting the cause, without seeking any attention.
But we are also here for the same cause. Aren’t we doing the same thing? Probably yes, but I am not sure whether that is the only reason.
Scene 3: A few girls are in front of me wearing white t-shirt with the sleeves folded in style. It looks like they just came out of a party. They are well organized with all their slogans, they had their homework done. Result? A lot of Digital SLR, point & shoot camera’s and even mobile cameras flashing around them. They are happily posing in front of every camera. Definitely they seem to be the face of the rally. If you don’t agree, ask the overexcited boys surrounding the girls.
I heard one guy saying “Dude, I told you that lot of girls are coming and it would be fun. See how right was I”
Scene 4: I walked passed a lot of people in the rally. Now in front of me I can see some school going kids with some middle aged couples, mostly their parents. Everyone is carrying candles. They are trying hard with their small palms to keep the wind away from the candles.
I am surprised. How could these little kids be allowed with candles.
“They are the future, and if it continues like this the corruption will hurt them most. We are just training them to fight against it” – their parents told me.
“But do you believe this is the proper way to protest?”
“We don’t know if this is the proper way, but if you have any other option tell us that. We will do that also. We are desperate to give them a better India.”
I didn’t have answer, if I don’t have a way out, I shouldn’t stop those who are trying to do at least something.
Scene 5: A guy just barged into the rally from a shop beside the road. From his next conversation what I understood is, he successfully bargained in the shop and purchased two candles for Rs 15 each. I was surprised. The candles he bought should not cost more than 5 Rs. Soon I realized it’s the same old story of Demand vs Supply. We are getting charged extra for everything used in Rally, candle, Indian flag, try colored wrist band everything.
At least someone can see his profit with the rally.
Scene 6: The rally is finished. I walked till Sarasbaugh. Now I am sitting in a restaurant and having my dinner. Dinner, it’s a necessity, right? especially after so much of shouting and so much of walking. While eating I heard some people around us talking about their experience about the rally.
“I am feeling so proud that I took part in the rally. From bottom of my heart I support the fasting Anna is doing”. He finished talking and took a big bite on the Chicken Tikka Wrap.
“I have already updated my FB status that I am in the rally” his friend replied.
I didn’t say all these, but somewhat I am doing the same thing, thinking on the same line they are thinking.
Did I really serve the purpose what I actually wanted to?
These are just glimpse of what exactly is happening throughout the country. I am against the corruption; I want to do something against it. But I don’t know the exact method to do it. So when I see someone raising his voice against corruption I am trying to echo him. I would ask everyone to do the same, but before that just know what you are fighting for. Don’t kill the cause with the excitement and don’t seek attention for what you are doing.
Government is saying that it’s not the democratic way to pass a bill. But following the democratic way only we elected the government, if they don’t justify their roles what is the democratic way to protest?
But this protest, the rally, the fasting will not gonna work unless we try to change ourselves. Let’s stop giving out hard earned money as bribe. We should understand, if only few of us act positively then the fight will turn into their struggle. But if every one of us starts working against corruption in our daily work, then there will be no fight. It will be the India our ancestor had dreamt of few hundred years back.

Missing

Have you ever felt missing someone when the person is not around you? Stupid question huh!!! It’s a very common feeling for every one of us. But why do we miss someone? Simple answer, because we love that someone, because that someone has a place in our heart. I guess this is the way of defining a relation. A relation is always the base of the society. Now what would happen to you if the word relation goes out of your life forever making you not missing anyone? Simple mathematics says you will not have the bad feeling of missing someone ever. But life doesn’t understand this math. I am sure most of us can’t even imagine the feeling of not missing anyone. Let’s break it up in smaller pieces. How would one feel on Raksha Bandhan day if he doesn’t have a sister? Same goes through a girl‘s mind if she doesn’t have brother. Those not too lucky people must have a feeling of loneliness seeing others celebrating the day. It often appears a long day for them for sure. But this is just a single day every year of missing a single person. Can you now imagine missing everyone for rest of your life? I bet now you can feel that. It’s bad, it’s very bad, its unbearable right? No, it’s more than what it feels. I wouldn’t even have realized this unless I visited Vidyavati Ashram in Kamshet. It’s a home for more or less 50 orphan kids. Some of them are in Vidyavati before they actually realize the meaning of love, the meaning of parents, the meaning of a relation. Some of them lost their parents in this young age so they are here, it’s definitely sad. But the thing hurt me more when I came to know some of them are actually discarded by their parents. This Orphanage started with a 6 months old girl they found in railway station. As per doctors her survival chance was almost nill. But she survived. If god exists then I must say the almighty couldn’t able to give her parental love but she got some very special people around her.

To be Continued……

Ambition

What do you want to be in your life? Did you ask this question to anyone. You certainly did, don’t you? Do you remember what kind of different answers you got till date? Okay forget it, rethink of your answers if somebody would have asked you this at the age of 5 or may be at the age of 10. Well well well I don’t know about what went through all your childhood thoughts but I certainly remember mine. Let me share those wild and weird ambitions.
Before that let me tell you something we used to do in Bengali culture (not sure about others). In bengal we have a ritual called “Annaprashon”. This is the ritual when the little fellows eat their first rice. It takes place when they are at the age between 5-7 months. During this ritual, elders keep certain stuffs in front of the kid like a book, a pen, a pair of small scissors, coins etc and wait for the kid to pick something up. If the kid picks up pen that means he/she will be interested in literature. Similarly coins indicate businessman, scissors indicate doctor and so on. This is really fun to watch. That’s the baby’s first bite on AMBITION.
As the days go on, the ambition keeps changing with lot of factors. These factors involve some serious bullet points. “Capability”, “Expense of the Course”, “Earning from that profession”, “Prestige” and some more.
Note that I didn’t include “Interest” in this list. Actually that is the prime factor of an ambitions. But with the circumstances, that always takes back seat. These factors always suppress the desire, the craziness, the will. Examples are very obvious, a person with less IQ level cannot manage to get through any ambitions which needs lot of brainwork, for example a scientist. A boy from a poor family has to think 1000 times before opting for an expensive course to fulfill his ambitions and 999 out of1000 times he would change his mind. Just compare yourself as a cricketer and as a kabaddi player, that would justify the affect of earning on ambition. And last but not the least is prestige. Have you ever seen a drama on stage? If yes then close your eyes and compare the stage actor’s acting skill with the silver/golden screen actors acting skill. One who loves acting would definitely go for stage theater but the question of Prestige would always keep them bugging.
Not only these, the pressure of society is also a big factor on the ambition. Successful doctors would always want their successors to be in medical profession coz they have seen how noble the profession is when they do justice to it. A govt officer always dreams about his kids to be an IAS officer because in his mind that’s the highest position he would have ever imagined. A lawyer knows his son is always prospect of good lawyer with all the contacts he made in his life. And in India film industry and politics are two fields where people believe talent is hereditary. But again I would say these are to some extend positive reservation. There are other negative effects as well. Like a conservative family never sees their kids going for a film or fashion industry. A businessman always turns down his son to go for any salaried job. All these are basic instinct I believe, very hard to change.
With all these in mind, the definition of ambition doesn’t stand its ground anymore. The main pillar “Interest” is losing its priority from the Ambition.
Anyway, it’s always a never ending debate. I started this with a lighter mood but eventually went to the serious world. Now I am going to my childhood days when an ambition was completely independent of anything in this world other than what I liked to do.
Have you seen hand cart ever? In Kolkata I have seen plenty of them carrying lot of stuffs. Not sure they are still there or not. So using the cart lots of people used to carry big ice blocks from ice factory to different preservative farms (like fish market etc). On those days, ice factory was beyond my imagination. In my thought the one and only source of that big amount of ice was Kashmir. So I was under impression that these guys go to Kashmir everyday and bring ice from there. I was very curious about Kashmir because on those days also Kashmir was always in headlines because of terrorism and natural beauty. So that became my first ambition.
My second ambition was a taxi driver. The one and only reason behind this was just roaming around in the city in a car without spending a single paisa.
However that ambition didn’t last long as Byomkesh Bokshi and Karamchand entered into the scene. Not only Byomkesh Bokshi, there are several other detective novels I started reading. You might have noticed the dramatic pictures in detective books with dark glasses, black gloves etc. No wonder that attracted me the most. As a result next 2-3 years I was completely equipped with woolen gloves, lots of different kind of toy guns, dad’s black sunglass and grandfather’s pipe (only pipe). Most of the time my face used to be covered with a handkerchief. The makeup accessories were also part of my detective kit. The Ponds powder (for white hair) and sister’s eye pencil (for drawing mustache) might not be the most expensive makeup kit one could have but sufficient for the great detective like me. Due to the lack of interesting cases around me, I couldn’t continue this ambition anymore. And by that time I realized it’s my time to be on the action ground, not to be in a dark room sitting on a easy chair sorting out a complicated murder case. Continuing on that thoughts, Police Officer and then Army Officer was two certain options I could see. So all the small toy guns went inside the packing box and with Grand Ma’s great support soon I created my own inventory with big toy guns. But I needed some bunkers to fight with enemies. With no wonder all the pillows came to my help. I used to pile up all the pillows to make the bunker. That gave me the complete environment.
When I grown up a little more, we started travelling different famous places in India. Most of the time with some travel groups. I saw every time one person used to brief about the place before we start. After a long time I found something to make my ambition. Honestly today also when I have visited many places in India and US, I still find that as ambition. That is one thing I can do at any age of my life. But again that will be a new story altogether.
With these there were some short and simple ambitions popped up throughout my early teenage like playing table, painting etc, but never appeared very interesting. Right now I am not able to recollect any more funny ambitions I had except one. And the final one is Cricket. Well this is one which was always in my mind. In every alternate I used to see myself as a cricket player. Believe me today also when India needs 50 runs from 19 balls, first things comes to my mind is re-considering my ambition of being a cricketer.
To conclude this, what I believe is ambition is what you want to be. It might not be having any relation with how much would you earn, what is your age, how will you achieve this. A 70 year old person can should also have an ambitions. An ambition gives you a meaning to your life if not anything else.

Summer Camp

There is always a never ending argument on school life and college life, which one is better. Some people say school life, some say college. If you ask me I would always say School life. Like all my friends I also never realized this during school days. In those days we all had a strong feeling to get rid of it as soon as possible. Now when poor fellows like us, sub merged in professional goals and responsibilities, we dream our old days, always. The school, the recess time, the fun between lectures (and during the lecture as well ;) ), the morning prayer and every other small thing. Now all of a sudden why I am saying all these. Actually last Saturday, 16th April I went to a school with my sister and her group to attend a summer camp. The moment I entered the school, I started missing my school. I never got a chance to attend any summer camp in my school days. We used to have one day outing once in a year. With that background its beyond my imagination how much I would have enjoyed if I got a chance to attend any summer camp.
The summer camp I attended this Saturday was organized by a group named SPrayas formed by the Syntel employees. The group was not at all new to me. I attended quite a few activities organized by them. And believe me that they are not doing it for the sake of their CSR activity. They are doing it from bottom of their heart. Else I wouldn’t have seen my sister, Abhishek, Seema and other fellows doing this for more than three long years.
What I understood from the very first day’s introductory session is, the goal is to teach the students something new during this one month of summer vacation without losing their interests. These kids don’t get much chance to learn something above their educational curriculum. May be because of financial condition, may be because lack of opportunities. The entire idea is about giving them what every children deserve equally. It’s about spending some good time with them, it’s about giving them the faith of doing something special, it’s about cascading the knowledge we have to the next generation, the future of our nation.
Saturday morning we reached the school at around 8 in the morning. The kids started coming in groups and by the time we started the introduction it was around 35-40 kids in the class room. The black board, the chalks, the duster, every single stuff was reminding me my class room. We spent there almost two hours with the kids. We got to know each other, we danced together, we sang together. In short we enjoyed together. My sister is lucky that she will get this opportunity for next 30-40 days but definitely if I get time I will come back again to attend my first summer camp.

Back in Pune

Well well well!!!
First day in Pune office after a long time and I already started finding lot of interesting things about Pune and the office. Let’s talk about the things which didn’t change, The Auto service. They still refuse to go by meter and charge a bulk amount. Girls here still go out like Phulan Devi covering their faces with dupatta. Bus drivers still don’t bother to stop in the bus stop. No one still bother to maintain the traffic rules. Interestingly in front of office on Mumbai Pune highway the traffic appears to be more than last time I saw but people who cross the road still don’t bother about how fast the cars are coming. As usual they don’t look towards the cars coming and surprisingly this is working for years and years. Now come to the office. The elevators are still slow enough to make the employees desperate to take the stairs till 9th floor. Most important unchanged thing in office which affected me is the lunch. Though the vendor is changed and the number of items are increased, I still had to throw half of my food in lunch yesterday and today’s breakfast. People still talk regional language not only for chit chat but also for official work. All my colleagues still don’t wear the tie on Tuesday. The chairs are still in a condition to give you a feel like you are sitting on a half broken brunch of a tree which can collapse at any point of time. Half of the employees are still struggling with the CRT monitors. Most of the folks still don’t bother to smile if you say good morning to people whom you don’t know personally. These are only a very few things I noticed, there must be much much much more stuffs which didn’t change. Now it’s time for the change. I will start from office this time. There are no paper cups available in the break out area, I heard that admin has supplied proper cups to every employee and as I was not there on that particular time I don’t have any cup which led me to spending an entire day without coffee. I got my desktop right after my manager put the request, that was fast and honestly I didn’t expect it. People are not tailgating anymore. The biggest change of all is a change which is quiet obvious over the time period and not at all surprising but still it’s a change. I hardly know 15-20 people in this office. It’s a whole bunch of new faces. If I talk about the change in Pune, roads look in good condition, you don’t often find old buses. What else?? Nothing I could find as of now. Its less than 48 hours I spent here. I know a lot more is still to come.

Who are you?

Have you ever encountered the question “Who are you?”
I bet most of the people if not 100% don’t like this question. Although this is not a very complicated question to answer, is it? I also had a feeling like that. But after spending some time with this question I realized I am not right from every prospect of the question. Sometimes it’s not that tough to answer but not always.
No matter how complicated you think the answer is, I think the best answer of this question comes out from a person (rather character) who we all know. “My name is Bond, James Bond”. I wish if I could answer someone like this, “My name is Banerjee, Kaustav Banerjee”. Dont laugh, let me clarify myself. I am not going to say this for my entire life, nopes, no way.
I find my best answer to this question when I ask it to the mirror in a place where no one is around. Who am I? You want to know who I am. I am the king of all the kings, Badshao ke Badsha. I am the one who can change the world; I am the most powerful man on planet earth. But the answer changes the moment someone comes around. I get back to the normal me. Wise men will say, why do I think that I am not the best, I can’t change the world. If I can’t feel that way I would have to answer the question to the world for rest of my life. If I can take myself to that level, no one is going to ask me the question again. Actually I would love do something like that, but it’s too complicated to discuss at this point. Let’s get back to the question again.
I remember in my childhood days we used to go for collecting Chanda (donation) for Durga puja, door to door. After knocking on the door, first question would always be “Who are you?” You might think this is an easy to answer question, but no. In reply, I always had to portray myself not as Kaustav but as a young devotee of the goddess Durga who wanted to make sure the Puja committee gets enough funding to overcome all the barriers that comes on their way while arranging a festival which is solely made for the people around. So we had to have mock up session before going for collection regarding how to answer “Who are you?”
I never experienced but heard it from lot of people that door to door salesmen are very cautious about this question. For them, first impression is the last impression. Again their personal details are not important if somebody ask them who are you, it’s their company or product profile which they always wants to emphasize. If they can answer it well then it’s their lucky day.
Yesterday I went for a meeting, where a saw a new face in the room whom I didn’t know. Before I said anything he stood up and said “Hi, myself John and you…”. That three dots are nothing but the same question “who are you”.
“Who are you” appears to be a very blunt and harsh question to ask. Corporate world has changed that question into a statement, Introduction. Starting from job interview to project interview, meetings, sessions everywhere this word comes in our lives. I am tired of giving introduction and saying who am I.
Few days back I got a friend request in facebook from an unknown girl and with that she sent a message “Who are you?”. I was really irritated with the question, wasn’t sure whether I should laugh and ignore her or give her the proper answer asking the same question with additional words, “Who are you to ask me that?”. But finally I came to know why she asked that. My name was coming in her profile as “add friend suggestion” because of number of mutual friends. But she couldn’t recognize me and ended up asking me who am I. Justified, isn’t it?
In short this small question has many different forms beyond my thought. So I will stop here, but as always I will end this with one small incident. I heard this story from a person I met while travelling from Pune to Kolkata in train. I forgot his name, lets assume his name is Sunil. Sunil told me when he came out of his hometown for the first time for job, he was travelling in train. One guy started talking to him as he is a very close friend. Sunil thought better not to entertain that guy as he was a complete stranger. He was scared if that guy’s intention was good at all. Lot of incidents happen in train where a stranger give some food item and consuming that, passenger becomes senseless. By the time they regain the consciousness, they lose all their valuables. Sunil started ignoring that guy, but the stranger was not at all in mood to keep quiet. Finally Sunil told him in loud voice, “Why are you disturbing me? Who are you?”. That guy was shocked with this incident and never said a single word after that. Sunil didn't have a pretty good idea about Pune city. After reaching the station he was confused. He only had a big suitcase, he took an auto rickshaw to his destination towards Swargate. There the biggest tragedy was waiting for him. He was peeping out from the rickshaw to see the place, when an over speeding car hit the rickshaw. He fell out of the rickshaw and after that it was all blank for him. He got his sense back on the hospital bed next day evening. Injury was severe. He was in hospital for 7 days. His parents came and take him back home. While leaving the hospital he asked the attendant about the person who brought him to the hospital. The lady checked the register and said there was a whole group of people who brought you here, but no body was ready to register their names. Sunil asked the nurse also if she had any idea about any one of that group. He just wanted to thank that person. Nurse also couldn't help him, but told him about a guy who stayed in the hospital pretty late. With the description she gave, Sunil easily visualised the person. He was none other than the guy whom he met in train. He was so surprised, couldn't say a single word. Here the story ends of Sunil, but not mine. On that day Sunil told me, “You know buddy, I shouted on that guy in train, I asked him “Who are you” just to keep him away from me. But today I feel, if he could have answered my question on that day, I could have meet my life saver again”.