Can you hear the roar?

The entire county is roaring. Half of the population is shouting for Anna. Rest of the half who doesn’t agree with Anna, are busy grunting against Indian Cricket team. Anna with his team is grumbling against the corruption and the government. Government is cursing Anna & his followers. The intellectual people are debating on news channels. The news channels are shouting to prove themselves best in the business. And when it comes to me, I am just struggling to find the right direction.
With this back drop a few scenes are being staged everyday around me.
Scene 1: Got a forwarded email from someone saying about a rally to support Anna. I decided to join. After the office I came back home and changed to comfortable attire before going to rickshaw stand. The rickshaw drivers were on top of their voice debating. They were debating in support of Anna Hazare. Everyone was in favor of Anna, but still they were aggressively putting their point. To whom? I don’t know.
“JM Road?” I asked. One guy said, “Sit, but 20 Rs extra, its heavy traffic there”. I looked at his face; he was the one who was shouting most against the corruption and dishonesty just a minute back.
I smiled, “you are charging me unethically and claim that you are a supporter of Anna Hazare?”
He said, “This is not corruption. Its just a matter of 20 Rs. See the leaders who are into scam of crores of it. And anyway this is my Dhanda time, cant compromise with it.
I compromised, as I always do.
Scene 2: I am in the rally, its hell lot of people around and good thing is they are not under any political banner. Later I read in the news paper, it was around 25 thousands of people in the rally. I saw an old man, not shouting at all, just calmly walking in the rally. I liked it. He is truly supporting the cause, without seeking any attention.
But we are also here for the same cause. Aren’t we doing the same thing? Probably yes, but I am not sure whether that is the only reason.
Scene 3: A few girls are in front of me wearing white t-shirt with the sleeves folded in style. It looks like they just came out of a party. They are well organized with all their slogans, they had their homework done. Result? A lot of Digital SLR, point & shoot camera’s and even mobile cameras flashing around them. They are happily posing in front of every camera. Definitely they seem to be the face of the rally. If you don’t agree, ask the overexcited boys surrounding the girls.
I heard one guy saying “Dude, I told you that lot of girls are coming and it would be fun. See how right was I”
Scene 4: I walked passed a lot of people in the rally. Now in front of me I can see some school going kids with some middle aged couples, mostly their parents. Everyone is carrying candles. They are trying hard with their small palms to keep the wind away from the candles.
I am surprised. How could these little kids be allowed with candles.
“They are the future, and if it continues like this the corruption will hurt them most. We are just training them to fight against it” – their parents told me.
“But do you believe this is the proper way to protest?”
“We don’t know if this is the proper way, but if you have any other option tell us that. We will do that also. We are desperate to give them a better India.”
I didn’t have answer, if I don’t have a way out, I shouldn’t stop those who are trying to do at least something.
Scene 5: A guy just barged into the rally from a shop beside the road. From his next conversation what I understood is, he successfully bargained in the shop and purchased two candles for Rs 15 each. I was surprised. The candles he bought should not cost more than 5 Rs. Soon I realized it’s the same old story of Demand vs Supply. We are getting charged extra for everything used in Rally, candle, Indian flag, try colored wrist band everything.
At least someone can see his profit with the rally.
Scene 6: The rally is finished. I walked till Sarasbaugh. Now I am sitting in a restaurant and having my dinner. Dinner, it’s a necessity, right? especially after so much of shouting and so much of walking. While eating I heard some people around us talking about their experience about the rally.
“I am feeling so proud that I took part in the rally. From bottom of my heart I support the fasting Anna is doing”. He finished talking and took a big bite on the Chicken Tikka Wrap.
“I have already updated my FB status that I am in the rally” his friend replied.
I didn’t say all these, but somewhat I am doing the same thing, thinking on the same line they are thinking.
Did I really serve the purpose what I actually wanted to?
These are just glimpse of what exactly is happening throughout the country. I am against the corruption; I want to do something against it. But I don’t know the exact method to do it. So when I see someone raising his voice against corruption I am trying to echo him. I would ask everyone to do the same, but before that just know what you are fighting for. Don’t kill the cause with the excitement and don’t seek attention for what you are doing.
Government is saying that it’s not the democratic way to pass a bill. But following the democratic way only we elected the government, if they don’t justify their roles what is the democratic way to protest?
But this protest, the rally, the fasting will not gonna work unless we try to change ourselves. Let’s stop giving out hard earned money as bribe. We should understand, if only few of us act positively then the fight will turn into their struggle. But if every one of us starts working against corruption in our daily work, then there will be no fight. It will be the India our ancestor had dreamt of few hundred years back.

Missing

Have you ever felt missing someone when the person is not around you? Stupid question huh!!! It’s a very common feeling for every one of us. But why do we miss someone? Simple answer, because we love that someone, because that someone has a place in our heart. I guess this is the way of defining a relation. A relation is always the base of the society. Now what would happen to you if the word relation goes out of your life forever making you not missing anyone? Simple mathematics says you will not have the bad feeling of missing someone ever. But life doesn’t understand this math. I am sure most of us can’t even imagine the feeling of not missing anyone. Let’s break it up in smaller pieces. How would one feel on Raksha Bandhan day if he doesn’t have a sister? Same goes through a girl‘s mind if she doesn’t have brother. Those not too lucky people must have a feeling of loneliness seeing others celebrating the day. It often appears a long day for them for sure. But this is just a single day every year of missing a single person. Can you now imagine missing everyone for rest of your life? I bet now you can feel that. It’s bad, it’s very bad, its unbearable right? No, it’s more than what it feels. I wouldn’t even have realized this unless I visited Vidyavati Ashram in Kamshet. It’s a home for more or less 50 orphan kids. Some of them are in Vidyavati before they actually realize the meaning of love, the meaning of parents, the meaning of a relation. Some of them lost their parents in this young age so they are here, it’s definitely sad. But the thing hurt me more when I came to know some of them are actually discarded by their parents. This Orphanage started with a 6 months old girl they found in railway station. As per doctors her survival chance was almost nill. But she survived. If god exists then I must say the almighty couldn’t able to give her parental love but she got some very special people around her.

To be Continued……

Ambition

What do you want to be in your life? Did you ask this question to anyone. You certainly did, don’t you? Do you remember what kind of different answers you got till date? Okay forget it, rethink of your answers if somebody would have asked you this at the age of 5 or may be at the age of 10. Well well well I don’t know about what went through all your childhood thoughts but I certainly remember mine. Let me share those wild and weird ambitions.
Before that let me tell you something we used to do in Bengali culture (not sure about others). In bengal we have a ritual called “Annaprashon”. This is the ritual when the little fellows eat their first rice. It takes place when they are at the age between 5-7 months. During this ritual, elders keep certain stuffs in front of the kid like a book, a pen, a pair of small scissors, coins etc and wait for the kid to pick something up. If the kid picks up pen that means he/she will be interested in literature. Similarly coins indicate businessman, scissors indicate doctor and so on. This is really fun to watch. That’s the baby’s first bite on AMBITION.
As the days go on, the ambition keeps changing with lot of factors. These factors involve some serious bullet points. “Capability”, “Expense of the Course”, “Earning from that profession”, “Prestige” and some more.
Note that I didn’t include “Interest” in this list. Actually that is the prime factor of an ambitions. But with the circumstances, that always takes back seat. These factors always suppress the desire, the craziness, the will. Examples are very obvious, a person with less IQ level cannot manage to get through any ambitions which needs lot of brainwork, for example a scientist. A boy from a poor family has to think 1000 times before opting for an expensive course to fulfill his ambitions and 999 out of1000 times he would change his mind. Just compare yourself as a cricketer and as a kabaddi player, that would justify the affect of earning on ambition. And last but not the least is prestige. Have you ever seen a drama on stage? If yes then close your eyes and compare the stage actor’s acting skill with the silver/golden screen actors acting skill. One who loves acting would definitely go for stage theater but the question of Prestige would always keep them bugging.
Not only these, the pressure of society is also a big factor on the ambition. Successful doctors would always want their successors to be in medical profession coz they have seen how noble the profession is when they do justice to it. A govt officer always dreams about his kids to be an IAS officer because in his mind that’s the highest position he would have ever imagined. A lawyer knows his son is always prospect of good lawyer with all the contacts he made in his life. And in India film industry and politics are two fields where people believe talent is hereditary. But again I would say these are to some extend positive reservation. There are other negative effects as well. Like a conservative family never sees their kids going for a film or fashion industry. A businessman always turns down his son to go for any salaried job. All these are basic instinct I believe, very hard to change.
With all these in mind, the definition of ambition doesn’t stand its ground anymore. The main pillar “Interest” is losing its priority from the Ambition.
Anyway, it’s always a never ending debate. I started this with a lighter mood but eventually went to the serious world. Now I am going to my childhood days when an ambition was completely independent of anything in this world other than what I liked to do.
Have you seen hand cart ever? In Kolkata I have seen plenty of them carrying lot of stuffs. Not sure they are still there or not. So using the cart lots of people used to carry big ice blocks from ice factory to different preservative farms (like fish market etc). On those days, ice factory was beyond my imagination. In my thought the one and only source of that big amount of ice was Kashmir. So I was under impression that these guys go to Kashmir everyday and bring ice from there. I was very curious about Kashmir because on those days also Kashmir was always in headlines because of terrorism and natural beauty. So that became my first ambition.
My second ambition was a taxi driver. The one and only reason behind this was just roaming around in the city in a car without spending a single paisa.
However that ambition didn’t last long as Byomkesh Bokshi and Karamchand entered into the scene. Not only Byomkesh Bokshi, there are several other detective novels I started reading. You might have noticed the dramatic pictures in detective books with dark glasses, black gloves etc. No wonder that attracted me the most. As a result next 2-3 years I was completely equipped with woolen gloves, lots of different kind of toy guns, dad’s black sunglass and grandfather’s pipe (only pipe). Most of the time my face used to be covered with a handkerchief. The makeup accessories were also part of my detective kit. The Ponds powder (for white hair) and sister’s eye pencil (for drawing mustache) might not be the most expensive makeup kit one could have but sufficient for the great detective like me. Due to the lack of interesting cases around me, I couldn’t continue this ambition anymore. And by that time I realized it’s my time to be on the action ground, not to be in a dark room sitting on a easy chair sorting out a complicated murder case. Continuing on that thoughts, Police Officer and then Army Officer was two certain options I could see. So all the small toy guns went inside the packing box and with Grand Ma’s great support soon I created my own inventory with big toy guns. But I needed some bunkers to fight with enemies. With no wonder all the pillows came to my help. I used to pile up all the pillows to make the bunker. That gave me the complete environment.
When I grown up a little more, we started travelling different famous places in India. Most of the time with some travel groups. I saw every time one person used to brief about the place before we start. After a long time I found something to make my ambition. Honestly today also when I have visited many places in India and US, I still find that as ambition. That is one thing I can do at any age of my life. But again that will be a new story altogether.
With these there were some short and simple ambitions popped up throughout my early teenage like playing table, painting etc, but never appeared very interesting. Right now I am not able to recollect any more funny ambitions I had except one. And the final one is Cricket. Well this is one which was always in my mind. In every alternate I used to see myself as a cricket player. Believe me today also when India needs 50 runs from 19 balls, first things comes to my mind is re-considering my ambition of being a cricketer.
To conclude this, what I believe is ambition is what you want to be. It might not be having any relation with how much would you earn, what is your age, how will you achieve this. A 70 year old person can should also have an ambitions. An ambition gives you a meaning to your life if not anything else.

Summer Camp

There is always a never ending argument on school life and college life, which one is better. Some people say school life, some say college. If you ask me I would always say School life. Like all my friends I also never realized this during school days. In those days we all had a strong feeling to get rid of it as soon as possible. Now when poor fellows like us, sub merged in professional goals and responsibilities, we dream our old days, always. The school, the recess time, the fun between lectures (and during the lecture as well ;) ), the morning prayer and every other small thing. Now all of a sudden why I am saying all these. Actually last Saturday, 16th April I went to a school with my sister and her group to attend a summer camp. The moment I entered the school, I started missing my school. I never got a chance to attend any summer camp in my school days. We used to have one day outing once in a year. With that background its beyond my imagination how much I would have enjoyed if I got a chance to attend any summer camp.
The summer camp I attended this Saturday was organized by a group named SPrayas formed by the Syntel employees. The group was not at all new to me. I attended quite a few activities organized by them. And believe me that they are not doing it for the sake of their CSR activity. They are doing it from bottom of their heart. Else I wouldn’t have seen my sister, Abhishek, Seema and other fellows doing this for more than three long years.
What I understood from the very first day’s introductory session is, the goal is to teach the students something new during this one month of summer vacation without losing their interests. These kids don’t get much chance to learn something above their educational curriculum. May be because of financial condition, may be because lack of opportunities. The entire idea is about giving them what every children deserve equally. It’s about spending some good time with them, it’s about giving them the faith of doing something special, it’s about cascading the knowledge we have to the next generation, the future of our nation.
Saturday morning we reached the school at around 8 in the morning. The kids started coming in groups and by the time we started the introduction it was around 35-40 kids in the class room. The black board, the chalks, the duster, every single stuff was reminding me my class room. We spent there almost two hours with the kids. We got to know each other, we danced together, we sang together. In short we enjoyed together. My sister is lucky that she will get this opportunity for next 30-40 days but definitely if I get time I will come back again to attend my first summer camp.

Back in Pune

Well well well!!!
First day in Pune office after a long time and I already started finding lot of interesting things about Pune and the office. Let’s talk about the things which didn’t change, The Auto service. They still refuse to go by meter and charge a bulk amount. Girls here still go out like Phulan Devi covering their faces with dupatta. Bus drivers still don’t bother to stop in the bus stop. No one still bother to maintain the traffic rules. Interestingly in front of office on Mumbai Pune highway the traffic appears to be more than last time I saw but people who cross the road still don’t bother about how fast the cars are coming. As usual they don’t look towards the cars coming and surprisingly this is working for years and years. Now come to the office. The elevators are still slow enough to make the employees desperate to take the stairs till 9th floor. Most important unchanged thing in office which affected me is the lunch. Though the vendor is changed and the number of items are increased, I still had to throw half of my food in lunch yesterday and today’s breakfast. People still talk regional language not only for chit chat but also for official work. All my colleagues still don’t wear the tie on Tuesday. The chairs are still in a condition to give you a feel like you are sitting on a half broken brunch of a tree which can collapse at any point of time. Half of the employees are still struggling with the CRT monitors. Most of the folks still don’t bother to smile if you say good morning to people whom you don’t know personally. These are only a very few things I noticed, there must be much much much more stuffs which didn’t change. Now it’s time for the change. I will start from office this time. There are no paper cups available in the break out area, I heard that admin has supplied proper cups to every employee and as I was not there on that particular time I don’t have any cup which led me to spending an entire day without coffee. I got my desktop right after my manager put the request, that was fast and honestly I didn’t expect it. People are not tailgating anymore. The biggest change of all is a change which is quiet obvious over the time period and not at all surprising but still it’s a change. I hardly know 15-20 people in this office. It’s a whole bunch of new faces. If I talk about the change in Pune, roads look in good condition, you don’t often find old buses. What else?? Nothing I could find as of now. Its less than 48 hours I spent here. I know a lot more is still to come.

Who are you?

Have you ever encountered the question “Who are you?”
I bet most of the people if not 100% don’t like this question. Although this is not a very complicated question to answer, is it? I also had a feeling like that. But after spending some time with this question I realized I am not right from every prospect of the question. Sometimes it’s not that tough to answer but not always.
No matter how complicated you think the answer is, I think the best answer of this question comes out from a person (rather character) who we all know. “My name is Bond, James Bond”. I wish if I could answer someone like this, “My name is Banerjee, Kaustav Banerjee”. Dont laugh, let me clarify myself. I am not going to say this for my entire life, nopes, no way.
I find my best answer to this question when I ask it to the mirror in a place where no one is around. Who am I? You want to know who I am. I am the king of all the kings, Badshao ke Badsha. I am the one who can change the world; I am the most powerful man on planet earth. But the answer changes the moment someone comes around. I get back to the normal me. Wise men will say, why do I think that I am not the best, I can’t change the world. If I can’t feel that way I would have to answer the question to the world for rest of my life. If I can take myself to that level, no one is going to ask me the question again. Actually I would love do something like that, but it’s too complicated to discuss at this point. Let’s get back to the question again.
I remember in my childhood days we used to go for collecting Chanda (donation) for Durga puja, door to door. After knocking on the door, first question would always be “Who are you?” You might think this is an easy to answer question, but no. In reply, I always had to portray myself not as Kaustav but as a young devotee of the goddess Durga who wanted to make sure the Puja committee gets enough funding to overcome all the barriers that comes on their way while arranging a festival which is solely made for the people around. So we had to have mock up session before going for collection regarding how to answer “Who are you?”
I never experienced but heard it from lot of people that door to door salesmen are very cautious about this question. For them, first impression is the last impression. Again their personal details are not important if somebody ask them who are you, it’s their company or product profile which they always wants to emphasize. If they can answer it well then it’s their lucky day.
Yesterday I went for a meeting, where a saw a new face in the room whom I didn’t know. Before I said anything he stood up and said “Hi, myself John and you…”. That three dots are nothing but the same question “who are you”.
“Who are you” appears to be a very blunt and harsh question to ask. Corporate world has changed that question into a statement, Introduction. Starting from job interview to project interview, meetings, sessions everywhere this word comes in our lives. I am tired of giving introduction and saying who am I.
Few days back I got a friend request in facebook from an unknown girl and with that she sent a message “Who are you?”. I was really irritated with the question, wasn’t sure whether I should laugh and ignore her or give her the proper answer asking the same question with additional words, “Who are you to ask me that?”. But finally I came to know why she asked that. My name was coming in her profile as “add friend suggestion” because of number of mutual friends. But she couldn’t recognize me and ended up asking me who am I. Justified, isn’t it?
In short this small question has many different forms beyond my thought. So I will stop here, but as always I will end this with one small incident. I heard this story from a person I met while travelling from Pune to Kolkata in train. I forgot his name, lets assume his name is Sunil. Sunil told me when he came out of his hometown for the first time for job, he was travelling in train. One guy started talking to him as he is a very close friend. Sunil thought better not to entertain that guy as he was a complete stranger. He was scared if that guy’s intention was good at all. Lot of incidents happen in train where a stranger give some food item and consuming that, passenger becomes senseless. By the time they regain the consciousness, they lose all their valuables. Sunil started ignoring that guy, but the stranger was not at all in mood to keep quiet. Finally Sunil told him in loud voice, “Why are you disturbing me? Who are you?”. That guy was shocked with this incident and never said a single word after that. Sunil didn't have a pretty good idea about Pune city. After reaching the station he was confused. He only had a big suitcase, he took an auto rickshaw to his destination towards Swargate. There the biggest tragedy was waiting for him. He was peeping out from the rickshaw to see the place, when an over speeding car hit the rickshaw. He fell out of the rickshaw and after that it was all blank for him. He got his sense back on the hospital bed next day evening. Injury was severe. He was in hospital for 7 days. His parents came and take him back home. While leaving the hospital he asked the attendant about the person who brought him to the hospital. The lady checked the register and said there was a whole group of people who brought you here, but no body was ready to register their names. Sunil asked the nurse also if she had any idea about any one of that group. He just wanted to thank that person. Nurse also couldn't help him, but told him about a guy who stayed in the hospital pretty late. With the description she gave, Sunil easily visualised the person. He was none other than the guy whom he met in train. He was so surprised, couldn't say a single word. Here the story ends of Sunil, but not mine. On that day Sunil told me, “You know buddy, I shouted on that guy in train, I asked him “Who are you” just to keep him away from me. But today I feel, if he could have answered my question on that day, I could have meet my life saver again”.

Lucky you

December 2005, dont remember the date. It was a very windy Saturday evening. Normally in Kolkata we dont find weather cold enough, but that day it was worst in past 10-15 years. I was really upset on some of my friends in college. Had a fight with mom in the morning which made me feel like I am alone in the world. I started feeling that I am very happy that I am alone. I can spend the entire time with me. I dont need to care about anyone in the world. Took my jacket on top of a full sleeve heavy sweater and muffler to go out. Mom called from behind, I didnt listen to that. Took a bus and got down at Deshapriya Park. People say in the city that is the best place to walk around. I started walking towards southern avenue where the lake subhash sarovar is. A chilling wind was coming from the lake side, but as my blood was boiling from the frustration and anger, I ignored all these and kept walking. Lot of things were going through my mind, how bad people behave with me, how wrongly they treat me, how harsh they are on me. Suddenly the phone started ringing. I saw one of my friend with whom I had a fight a while ago. I picket the call, he said "come on buddy, whatever has happened, its between you and us. Why didnt you listened to your mom and went out in this bad weather. Just take a u turn and go home. I didnt say anything and dropped the call. My anger level went high, my mom started calling my friends just to show how bad son I am. I decided not to leave the war front any more. I will also see the end. It was quiet, almost pin drop silence around the park, except the sound of wind. I saw a small tea stall, but no one was there to have the tea. Its a pretty odd scene in Kolkata at least. That empty tea stall showed how bad the weather situation was. I took a big earthen pot full of hot tea and kept walking. I was walking unmindfully, suddenly I heard a sound. Someone, mostly an old lady chanting something. I listened carefully, it was "bhagawan tumi amare shokti dao, ami ei ogni porikha theke bachte chai, amake lorai korar khomota dao. ami jani sudin asbe, amio bhalo kore bachte parbo abar. tomar ei porikkha te ami pass haboi". If you dont understand bengali, here is the translation. "God please give me strength to fight the battle, I want to overcome this acid test (Donno how to describe agni parikhsha). I know good days are waiting for me, I will again live a good life. I will pass this test". I was kinda surprised. What kinda pray is this? I saw people praying for a good life or else asking to take him/her to the eternal peace, to the heaven. Never in my life I heard someone saying to strengthen her to fight the bad days, without asking a good future days. She was confident that if she can surpass this battle, she will see good days. I went closer, and found someone very skinny, almost invisible, is lying down on the footpath under a bench wrapping only a thin sheet of bed cover. She was shivering, very very badly. I went close to her, sat next to her but didnt know what to do. After a min, I kept a hand on her and asked what happened, why are you lying here in this cold weather. She stopped chanting and brought her head out of the bed sheet, said I dont have any other place to go my son. This is my home for last 25 years. Believe me I saw her smiling, it was very hard to identify the smile in her face, but she was smiling. The words what she said was again hardly audible to me, somehow I managed to understand what she is saying. I was pretty sure, she was not well, how could she be in this weather. I asked her not to say anything and took my jacket off. I put the jacket on her like a quilt, thinking that would make her warm. She was nodding her head, I understood what she was trying to say. She was saying if I give my jacket I will catch cold. She tried to lift her head, but couldnt. I assured her that I am fine without jacket, I have a sweater also. By that time I decided whats next. I knew if I leave that lady like this, she would die. I didnt think anything for the future, but the only thing was running in mind was saving her for this worst night. I ran to the tea stall and took 2 cups of tea with some biscuits. I asked the shop owner if he ever noticed the old lady or not. He replied, that lady is staying here since long, before he opened a tea stall here. I requested him if he had any blanket or anything which can make that lady comfortable and warm. He said "No way, why should I spoil my blanket, that lady is anyway not gonna die. o toh jomer o oruchi". The last statement means even the god of death is not gonna take that lady. I was completly stunned with this. But I was desperate that time. I asked him to take money from me and give me the blanket as I didnt have time to go and purchase a new one. That guy was astonished with this, and finally he gave that to me without taking money. He said sorry, that he behaved rudely. I rushed to the lady with all these things. I wrapped her with the blanket, took her head on my lap. I gave her my muffler also. I took her hand in my hands and started rubbing the palms. After few minutes the lady smiled again, and said thank you. I told her to have the hot tea with biscuit. she agreed, she tried to lift the cup in her hand but she couldnt. Seeing no other option, I dipped the biscuit in tea and held it in front of her mouth. She swallowed it. Like this she took couple of more times. I could see her face in the low street lamp light. I dont know whether I was wrong or not, but she looked happy. There was something in her face which made me feel like cry and sit with her for ever. All of a sudden she started breathing very fast. She was sucking her lips with the tongue, I thought she is thirsty. I rushed to the tea stall and came with a glass of water. Slowly slowly I tried to help her sipping the water. After couple of sips, I saw the water came out of her mouth. She was not breathing anymore. I couldnt cry, couldnt say anything for a while. First time in my life someone died on my lap. I couldnt do anything, Nothing. I dont remember whether I shouted or cried, the tea stall owner came running and saw me sitting there. I dont know what happened then. Only I could remember lot of people was around me...
11:00 PM in the night, Kolkata Municipal Corporation came and took her body inside a van covered in a white sheet. The tea stall owner came to me and gave me my jacket and muffler. I took those and went near to the van and put the muffler and jacket, my favourite jacket on her body. There I couldnt stop my tears. The driver started the engine, slowly the van started moving and in a few moments went out of sight. The tea stall owner came to me and said, "now you go home. Dont worry, she is in better world now. In the world where she will be happy. And you know one thing, she was happy, I saw smile on her face for the first time in last 20 years. You go home"

11:30 PM, I came home in a police van. Everyone was worried there. The moment I entered the room millions of questions were triggered on me. Only mom came to me without saying a single word and gave me a hug. I kept my head on her shoulder and cried like a baby.

That night I couldnt sleep. But I had a dream. That old lady came in my dream and said "I was right. I knew if I can survive the bad days definitely I will see something good. Thats why I always asked god to give power to survive. My son you are the only person in last many a year who fed me with his own hand. May be the biggest thing I got in my life. The best. I didnt have any expectation beyond this. Thanks a lot. Now I am happy."

That was the day when I realized how lucky I am. I have so many people around me to care for me. In this beautiful world there are millions of people who has to wait for thirty years for someone to come and make them feel that they are not alone.